Meta-Emotion simply means feelings about feelings, or in other words the way a person thinks or feels about emotions. If you have yet to sit down and think about this concept now is a good time to do so. The world as a whole is experiencing significant emotions. Emotions play a role in nearly every aspect of our daily lives from romantic relationships, parenting, friendships, work experiences, and how we feel about ourselves. Just sitting and watching the news will likely illicit an emotional response, especially today. So understanding meta-emotion is key in understanding our responses. Emotions are signals or cues, they are neither good nor bad, but our interpretation of emotions comes with labels. People generally fall into one of two categories, either you are open to experiencing and discussing emotions or you would prefer to avoid emotions altogether – especially the ones perceived as negative. As humans, we are exposed to emotions and emotional responses from birth. Either your family and caregivers made space for feelings or they encouraged you to ‘get over it.’ Of course, there is a spectrum as with anything, but our upbringing and exposure to emotions play a key role in our own experience of meta-emotions. What happens is that people who are open and comfortable with feelings tend to do well when they can talk through situations and help others better understand their emotions as well; whereas people who are not comfortable with emotions would prefer to avoid negative feelings and skip right to problem solving. Problem solving is great, an important step because no one can live in their emotions for an extended period of time and feel healthy at the end of the day. However, skipping completely over the experience of emotions can hinder a person’s ability to connect to others – especially when the other person needs to feel heard and understood. This leads to a mismatch of meta-emotion when it comes to relationships. When individuals have the same meta-emotion outlook, things tend to go well. If both people in a friendship or relationship prefer to avoid emotions, then neither are longing for a deeper emotional connection. However, if you are experiencing a mismatch in your own relationship there are steps you can take. First, identify that a difference exists. Second, acknowledge that you each have an important role regarding emotional conflict. Third, agree to flesh out emotions first then come to a solution together – each person has a role in guiding the conversation. This might not seem to be earth-shattering information but having a grasp on your own feelings about feelings can allow you to relate to others better, more clearly understand when you have an experience of being controlled by your emotions, and be softer with yourself.